I am blessed. I have seen the promised land. My ears have heard what God has in store for those, the righteous, the blessed, those who walk the way of Christ. I call you all to follow in his footsteps, for the path is that of the Lord, and the Lord is good. I was a sinner once, too. Living by the night, spending my God-given time in houses of depravity, I broke bread with gamblers and slept with whores. I had fallen as far as any man can fall, but on one dark rainy night, as I lie in the gutter, soaked in my own filth… I saw the light. He spoke to me in a dream and commanded me out of my revelry. He spoke to me and said, “I am the God, the one true God. Arise my child, and walk with me.” He led me to good people, good people in a church down by the theater. They gave me food to eat, water to drink, and a place to sleep. When I awoke in the morning, they explained to me that idle hands were the devils workshop. And I knew that my hands must be kept busy, because I had a lot of sinning to make up for. So the good people, they showed me what I must do. That’s when I heard the sound. The sound that God had promised me.

            Ill take the eight-ball and hooker, please. If Jars of Clay is what I’ll have to listen to for eternity, fuck it – let me burn.