The Tipper Sticker

            Suddenly it came clear why Al Gore always has a smirk on his face because in 1985, Tipper Gore became the man in bed.  People often wondered how Al would recover from this, so in 2000 Al showed Tipper who had the big dipper with a kiss that lasted longer than thirty seconds, yes thirty seconds on live TV, when he was accepting his parties nomination for the presidential election.  His approval rating dropped faster than the stock market in 1929.  Some historians say that he should have never regained his manhood because he lost his personality, even though his personality back then was like a lost robot, it still gave him an identity.  But anyway, lets travel back in time to the year 1985 when Tipper was the real man in charge when she basically ran the senate hearings through her husband.

            Tipper and a handful of senators’ wives used their husbands’ positions to force the record industry to put parental advisory stickers on musical recordings.  Yes, these women were the judges on what was obscene and what was not.  It makes you glad to vote for such prestigious politicians who go running home to their wives to see what hearings they should hold (or what else).  Now we know why people don’t vote anymore because when you vote for a candidate you have to vote for their spouse and who knows how crazy they are, a.k.a. Tipper.  How can these wives like Susan Baker and Nancy Thurmond demand restriction to something they don’t like, but claim it’s not censorship by saying they just want to “educate parents on alarming trends in popular music.”  Then have the actual senators say that we need this sticker to save kids from going down the wrong path by listening to explicit lyrics.  I guess it’s better to protect kids from bad words than pedophiles.   Who cares if there are crimes unsolved just as long as America has figured out how to stop children from listening to Ice T?

         Seriously, make sure kids have to be eighteen to buy a mature CD because children younger than eighteen don’t curse or know the definition of what a curse word is.  The “Parents Music Resource Center” did a great job teaming up with the Senators because they helped put the senators’ priorities in check. 

            All this really did was transform Dee Snider from a bad-ass transvestite into little old helpless Carrie from Sex in the City.  Poor Twisted Sister. They were castrated in front of the whole world at a Senate hearing by the “original” Tipper.  This once rebellious band was on top of the world at onetime, and then they were reduced to nothing better than a boy band.  Dee Snider was suppose to curse the senators at the hearing, but instead kept saying “yes sir” with his tail between his legs and thinking how he could have been the wickedest rocker if big Tipper didn’t come along.  Because of this, two of the Twisted Sister members, A.J Pero and Dee Snider, got into a huge cat fight which lead to a brutal he said she said breakup.  Pero said Snider doesn’t know how to keep a band successful, and Snider said Pero is an idiot. Good one.  Thankfully, the two patched things up and now we all can sleep better.

            All of this could have been avoided if the senators had some testicular fortitude by just saying no to their wives and their crazy ideas.  All this act did was put a stupid sticker on the CD thinking parents won’t let their kids buy a mature CD, while in reality; most parents don’t give a damn.  The parents who care what their children listen to are the strict ones who probably beat their children.  Just a hunch!  So I applaud you Tipper and the rest of your group for wasting the times of the senators and destroying a band on TV just to show the power you have, way to go.